I don’t really remember what was the date, not sure i don’t want to remember it or i’m just not good with dates, but the fact is there- my grandma’s been gone for a time.
I didn’t go to her funeral. I’m not pretty sure if it was fully because my cousins couldn’t attend the funeral while nationals exam were close so i have to watch them OR because i just didn’t want to. She’s buried in her homeland, across the island.
My parents just went back couple days ago. Yesterday we cleaned the house together because our house wasn’t occupied for two weeks (all the family members except me went for the funeral). Yesterday i re-take my room and felt.. i don’t know maybe weird. Whenever my grandma came, she always take my room. Seven months of her sickness, she sleep and do her most activity in my room. It feels weird not to smell a strange combination of wet-tissues perfume and medicines in my room’s air.
Today when i was sitting on my bed reading Erec Rex, i realized how quiet my room is. i woke up today at 8’clock and there’s noone whooping for me to laundry the clothes. I heard no sound of moving cane. I heard no calls ‘mona, come here take my this and that..” it came to me like a shock.
She’s not here anymore. My grandma’s not here anymore.
It surprise me how i miss her. Come to think of it, it’s not like i am close to her. She’s more like my fighting partners. We argued much; she whinned and i rolled my eyes. I love her, and i knew that she love me too but we just didn’t show it.
My aunties came visiting today. She came into my room, and after a couple seconds seeing my bed she said “wah. She’s not here anymore”.
I regret that i didn’t attend the funeral. But i know it that deep down inside i love her and i will always miss her so much. I just hope everything’s much better outside there, for you grandma.
It really is the time, huh. I bid you my farewell, grands. Until we meet again. I love you so much. Thanks.